While planning for your wedding is extremely exciting, it’s not easy. One of the most important tasks is choosing your maid of honor. You may even find yourself wondering, “Can you have more than one maid of honor at a wedding?”
If you have an extensive list of close friends, it can be incredibly challenging to make the decision. The last thing you want to create is any sort of tension among your bridal party surrounding your wedding date.
To make life easier, we’ve shed some light on the MOH selection process. For a quick sense of relief: it’s completely okay to have more than one MOH. In fact, several people have multiple MOHs at their wedding, so why can’t you?
Continue reading below to learn how to choose more than one maid of honor.
Yes, you can have more than one maid of honor. If you can’t choose just one person, having two maids or matrons of honor is perfectly acceptable. It’s your wedding, so if you can’t decide between two friends, you can have two head bridesmaids.
Anyone who says otherwise just doesn’t have the right way of thinking. If you’re stuck between two people taking the head bridesmaid position, choose them both, and you won’t regret it.
However, there are a few things you need to do if you’re going with more than one MOH. For starters, you’ll have to inform both of them that they will have a counterpart. Since these people are considered your close friends or family, they shouldn’t have an issue with your decision.
There are several added benefits to having two maids or matrons of honor. For starters, it will be nice to have an extra pair of hands to help out throughout the planning process.
What If I Can’t Choose a Maid of Honor?
As you can see from the information above, choosing a maid of honor can be extremely daunting. So, what if you can’t decide on your own? Or, what if you don’t have anyone for the role?
Here are some cool and creative alternatives:
Have Multiple Maids of Honor
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having more than one MOH. By having two or more people fill the role, you’re taking a lot of the pressure off one of your bridesmaids. Many people have two or more maids of honor at their wedding, and so can you.
Don’t Have a Maid of Honor
While the maid of honor role is a big one, you don’t necessarily need to fill the spot. If you’re having a small wedding or don’t have anyone to choose from, you can scrap the idea entirely. Not having a maid of honor will also eliminate any tension or awkwardness between the other bridesmaids you choose.
Do Away With the Bridal Party Entirely
You don’t need to let romantic comedy movies fool you. While having a massive bridal party may seem like the “picture perfect” wedding, it’s not required. Many people have amazing ceremonies without a birthday party. Doing away with the birthday party will make your wedding much easier to manage.
How To Have Two Maids of Honor
Now that you know you can have two maids or matrons of honor, how exactly do you manage it? Here are some tips:
Make Sure They Get Along
This goes without saying, but you want to make sure both of your maids of honor like each other. Having any tension between the two MOHs can lead to a disastrous wedding. Therefore, you must introduce the two long before the ceremony to ensure they can build some form of a relationship.
Divide Up Responsibilities
The MOH is essentially the bride’s second in command. Their primary role is to provide support before, during, and possibly after the wedding.
Here’s a glimpse at how exactly your maids of honor will help throughout the wedding process:
- The maid of honor helps the bride with wedding planning, including event planning, finding a dress for the bride, and any other tasks.
- They also are in charge of the other bridesmaids and keep the party organized.
- On the day of the wedding, the maid of honor will help the bride get dressed and remain calm.
- In some cases, the maid of honor may be asked to sign the marriage license.
- The maid of honor is there whenever the bride needs emotional support before, during, and after the ceremony.
Dividing up the roles between the two maids of honor will relieve a lot of the stress that comes with the role.
Highlight Both at the Wedding
When it comes time for your big day, make sure you highlight both maids of honor at your wedding. Not only will this eliminate favoritism, but it will also ensure the attendees know what’s going on. You can introduce them both to guests, family members, and anyone else attending the ceremony.
How To Choose a Maid of Honor
If you have a lot of friends, narrowing down your choice to one or even two leaders of the bridal party can be difficult. Even if you have a #1 best friend, they may not be the best bridesmaid to organize the wedding party and help out on your wedding day. Use these tips to decide which of your bridesmaids will get the title of MOH.
Assess Your Bridesmaids and Their Strengths
One of the most challenging parts of choosing a maid of honor is honestly reviewing your bridesmaids and other close friends and family members and recognizing their strengths and flaws. However, the maid of honor is an important job and should be given to someone capable. Therefore, you’ll need to spot out your most resilient friends and consider them a candidate for the position.
There are several duties that the MOH must take on. She leads the wedding party and helps the bride more closely with things like planning events (the bachelorette party and bridal shower), ordering bridesmaid dresses, coordinating with the best man and groomsmen, and generally keeping the bridesmaid group organized.
She also has to make a maid of honor speech at the reception, so if your best friend or favorite bridesmaid hates public speaking, this may not be the role for them!
Don’t Be Limited by Gender
Whenever we think of a maid of honor, we typically picture the bride’s sister or closest girlfriend. However, any gender can fill the role. If a woman’s closest friend is a man, nothing is stopping her from offering him the position. Some brides even have their brother be the maid of honor if they have a close relationship, or if they have brothers and not sisters.
There are no rules about gender and wedding parties anymore, so don’t worry about who stands with the groom or who stands on the brides side when it comes to men and women. If your ideal person to help on your big day is a man, bring him on board with the other ladies and get planning!
Avoid Family Pressure
While you want to do your best to keep your loved ones happy during your wedding, you shouldn’t choose a maid of honor based on fear of criticism. Just because you have a sister, doesn’t mean you are obligated to give her the title of maid or matron of honor. Don’t pick someone just because you’re related!
However, you can reach out to a close family member if you’re stuck in your decision-making.
Don’t Stress About Hurt Feelings
Many brides worry about hurting feelings with their choice. Try to remember that your wedding is totally about you! While one person in your bridal group may be expecting to be your lead bridesmaid, you do not owe anyone the title.
Choose whatever person you truly want to stand by your side on your wedding day.
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