If your best friend just proposed to his future wife, you may have your mind on the bachelor party already.
While some men love other aspects of wedding planning, it’s not unusual for the bride and her bridesmaids to focus on things like floral arrangements while the guys start thinking about a fun bachelor party with the groom.
But who plans the bachelor party, anyway? If you’ve never been in a wedding before, you may not know the role you need to play as a groomsman or close friend of the groom.
Who is in Charge of Planning the Bachelor Party?
Traditionally, the best man plans the bachelor party. The planning process is often a group effort between the best man and the other groomsmen, but if no one else steps up it is the best man’s responsibility.
If you’re the best man, consider asking the other groomsmen for help or input on what the groom would like best. You can also ask the groom directly – better to ask than to assume you know what he wants and throw a party he won’t enjoy.
What if there is no Best Man?
Sometimes, brides and grooms just have wedding parties without a stand-out best man or maid of honor. If your groom didn’t want to choose between his best friends, there may not be a best man to take charge.
In this case, collaborate with your fellow groomsmen to plan the party together. If some time has passed and no one else has brought up the bachelor party, it may be on you to step up and start getting a plan in place. Delegate responsibilities to other groomsmen so that you aren’t stuck planning everything on your own.
What if the Best Man Doesn’t Step Up?
If there is a best man, but he hasn’t stepped up to the plate and started planning anything yet, consider checking in. A polite call or text asking “Hey, what are you thinking for the bachelor party?” or “How is the bachelor party planning coming along?” can be a helpful reminder that the bachelor party is his responsibility.
If the best man really isn’t taking action, offer your help – he may be busy with other things and need a hand getting the ball rolling. You can also consider creating a group text with all the groomsmen so that everyone can start pitching ideas to get things started.
What if there are no groomsmen?
Some modern couples have chosen to forego the wedding party altogether. If there are no bridesmaids or groomsmen, however, who plans the bachelor party?
In this case, close friends and family of the groom may consider stepping up. If you’re close enough that you probably would have been in the groom’s wedding party if he had one, you can offer to plan a bachelor party for him.
Is the Groom Involved in Bachelor Party Planning?
Some best men and groomsmen want the bachelor party to be a nice surprise for their friend who is getting married. Others like to ask the groom what he’s looking for to ensure the party meets his expectations.
Unless you’re confident that you know exactly what the groom wants at his stag night, we recommend asking the groom for at least some general guidelines. This way, you don’t throw a party he won’t enjoy. If the groom wants something very specific, ask what he’s hoping for so that you don’t miss the mark.
At the very least, the groom needs to be clued in on details like the date of the bachelor party or bachelor weekend so that he can clear his schedule. It’s also best to let him know if you’ll be traveling out of town and to where so that he can plan and pack accordingly.
It’s common for the groom to give out thank-you gifts at the bachelor party, so knowing the gist of what will happen can help him choose the right gifts for his groomsmen.
Ask the groom what he’s looking for in general so that he’s pleased, but keep some of your bachelor party ideas a surprise for him to enjoy!
Can the Groom Plan His Own Bachelor Party?
The responsibility of planning a bachelor party is supposed to fall on the best man and other groomsmen, or close friends of the groom. If for some reason they cannot take on that task, the groom may consider planning their own bachelor party.
The bachelor party is supposed to be a gift to the groom from his friends, so ideally the groom will not have to do the planning on his own.
If you want to plan your own stag party, however, you can. The bachelor party is supposed to be for and about the groom, so if he really wants to plan it himself then it’s best to follow his wishes.
As the best man, you should be prepared to plan the bachelor party. Don’t be shy about asking for help from your fellow groomsmen, or for guidance from the groom himself!
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